This is an audio recording of a 911 call placed by a very upset Burger King customer who couldn’t get her Western Cheeseburger made properly.

The dispatcher should receive lots of bonus points for how she handles this. I would have sent a deputy to arrest this woman.

Here’s a partial transcript, mostly the highlights:

Caller: I’m over here at Burger King in  Laguna Niguel … I’m at a drive-through right now. I ordered my food three times. They’re mopping the floor inside and I understand they’re busy — they’re not even busy. I’ve been the only car here. I asked four different times for them to make me a Wester Barbecue Burger. They keep giving me a hamburger with lettuce, tomato and cheese, onions.

I said, “I’m not leaving. I want a Western Burger.” I just got my kids from Tae-Kwon-Do, they’re hungry.

She gave me another hamburger, it’s wrong.

The manager… whoever she is, she said, “do you want your money back?” I said “no, my kids are hungry and I have to jump on the toll freeway.”

Dispatcher: OK, so what exactly is it you want us to do for you?

Caller: Send an officer down here. I want them to make me…

Dispatcher: Ma’am, we’re not going to go down and enforce your Western Bacon Cheeseburger.

Caller: What am I supposed to do?

Dispatcher: This is between you and the manager. We’re not going to enforce having a  hamburger. That’s not a criminal issue there’s nothing criminal there.

Caller: So I just sit here and watch?

Dispatcher: You need to calmly and rationally speak to the manager and figure out what to do between you.

Caller: She did come up and I said, “Can I please have my Western burger?” She said “I’m not going to dealing with [you]“… she walked away.

Dispatcher: This is not a criminal issue…

Caller: You’re supposed to protect me…

Dispatcher: What are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger?

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