An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
‘Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?’
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters: ‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’
Tags: Funny
If a conservative doesn’t like guns,
he doesn’t buy one.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns,
he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian,
he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian,
he wants all meat products banned
for everyone.
If a conservative is homosexual,
he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual,
he demands legislated respect.
If a conservative is down-and-out,
he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going
to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host,
he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like
be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer,
he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention
of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it,
or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands
that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative reads this,
he’ll forward a link to this page
so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will not
because he/she is “offended.”
Tags: Politics
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